Stupid Analogies
by CrimsonAccent
Summary: Leo's love ended up looking like strawberry ice cream. It didn't make much sense but neither did this situation with Piper.


Hey guys! Quick disclaimer-I don't own the characters. They are creations of Rick Riordan's imagination. This is dedicated to Astoria Goode for writing some Leo/Piper! I have a soft spot for Leo.

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"But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair."-Be My Escape, Relient K

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Leo knew his love for Piper wouldn't work. It was too much like strawberry ice cream-it would melt the moment he made contact with it. His analogy didn't make much sense, and he suspected it came about because Piper loved strawberries and Jason thought she loved apples but she didn't and he was _wrong_.

The fire user thought about making a list on how much better he was for her than Jason, but he didn't have that type of concentration, and he didn't want to look desperate, or jealous. Plus stealing Jason's thunder just wouldn't work out. The son of the King of the Gods, who could shoot lightning bolts and fly or the guy who couldn't fix anything and burned down bridges.

Leo knew he wouldn't pick himself.

Piper was out of his league and just the type of girl he would fall for. He asked Annabeth one day if a daughter of Aphrodite and a son of Hephaestus had ever hooked up and whether or not it had worked out. She had given him a hard look, like she was trying to pick his mind and finally said yes, slowly.

The only catch was that they were both dead.

"Oh. I guess the fates have a thing against Aphrodite and Hephaestus's kids falling in love." He joked, hoping she would forget that he'd even asked. The daugher of Athena had kind of just stared vaguely and shrugged before walking off. Leo wondered if she had even been listening but then felt bad because her boyfriend wasn't here, he was probably being interrogated or something and didn't even remember her.

Jason was sent on a quest, without him or Piper. He took Annabeth and Nico, Hade's son, to go fight off a monster of something. Leo hadn't really cared. All his life revolved around was working on his dragon-ship nonstop to keep from moping about Piper. Leo wondered if she remembered all the times she and him and hung out back at the Wilderness school. Those memories had been _real_, not fake.

With her crush gone, Piper had wandered around forlornly, and Leo decided to cheer her up. No pretty girl should be that sad. He'd told her so when he gave her the metal bouque and candy bar the Stolls' had snuck in. She had glanced at him and smiled, before admonishing him-she wasn't throwing a pity party and her name was Piper, not Beauty Queen.

"When I look at you Piper, I see someone beautiful." He said seriously. "As long as you stay that monster-killing, amazing girl, I'm calling you Beauty Queen."

Piper rolled her eyes. "Don't get soft on me Valdez, I'm going to need someone to cook monsters for me." She thought he was joking. Leo knew people didn't take him seriously; he would just stay persistant until she realized he meant it when he said she was amazing.

She skipped off, probably to daze some other male campers. Leo watched her go, with a slight pang, and then told himself to suck it up. No one likes a whiner.

Annabeth was the first back. She had a cut on her cheek, and a nasty bruise on her collarbone, but otherwise she just needed clean clothes, a shower and a long nap. Everyone had crowded around her, like pesky flies, eager for news about the quest. Leo had hung back, figuring she wanted some space and continued to work on his ship.

Piper had been there too. She was cutting wooden boards, working on the planks that would cover the top floor of the ship.

"Hey Beauty Queen. I thought you would be part of the welcoming party."

The daughter of Aphrodite paused and looked up from her work. "Annabeth sent me an Iris Message. And anyway I know how much this ship means to her, I thought someone should be working on it." Everyone had abandoned their post at the workshop, even Nyssa, his most serious sister. It was a testament to what a big deal Annabeth was.

Either that or they didn't like working on his ship.

"You sure you know what you're doing? This is my baby we're talking about."

She collapsed in a nearby chair, pulling her hair into a ponytail. "Cool it, I promise I won't give your baby birth defects."

He grinned, partly because she was here talking to him, instead of seeking out news on Jason, and partly because what she said had been funny. Leo produced a miniature fan from his toolbelt, setting it down on the table and flipping the on switch.

"Battery powered," he explained at her puzzled look.

"You're like one of those magicians. I keep expecting a rabbit to appear." Piper said flatly, but not unamused. She crossed her arms and shut her eyes, enjoying the cool breeze produced by the fan.

Leo just grinned and said nothing.

The next day Nico appeared with a giant hellhound, scarying eveyone halfway to Hades until he reassured them that it was Mrs. O'Leary.

"This Percy Jackson guy just gets cooler and crazier. He has a hellhound for a pet," Leo said in awe.

Annabeth gave a pained smile and then muttered something like, "Wait til you meet his brother," and he decided not to continue the conversation, sensing he was entering dangerous waters.

Leo played volleyball with the satyrs and some Apollo kids and then practiced until he was passable with a sword. He found Piper by the ship again, alone. With a bit of guilt, he saw that her eyes were red and puffy and she was sniffling. Piper had been crying.

"Who am I roasting?"

She jerked her head up, not expecting to be seen. Then she registered his words and gave a hiccuping laugh. "No one. Just me. Being an idiot."

He wasn't that great with organic life forms, but even Leo could tell she needed a shoulder to cry on. Leo went in for the kill and gave her an awkward hug. She clung to him and cried some more, getting his shirt wet, but he didn't mind. He just waited, testing out his newly discovered patience, wondering what had caused her to break down and what he was supposed to say.

"I'm sorry." Piper mumbled into his shirt, when she had finally run dry. She lifted her head up and then looked away, pushing herself up.

"Hey, no need to apologize. We all have our moments. Life got pretty crazy a few months ago. _Loca_."

"I messed up your shirt..." She started, and then saw the oil and grease stains on it.

He shook his head. "You need to work on your excuses. Now what happened? I didn't get soaked for the fun of it, Beauty Queen."

"Don't laugh, ok?" She waited until he finally swore not to. Then she took a deep breath and sighed. "Its Jason. I'm worried." Piper might have been blushing, but it was hard to tell since her face was red earlier from her sudden onset sobfest. "I know he's like the Zap Guy and really strong, but everyone else is back. He's on his own."

And his chances for being more than friends shrivelled up. The past few days they had hung out more and talked, but Leo knew it was only a matter of time before the universe realigned itself and things were back to normal and un-Liper-ish. "Don't get so upset, Piper. Jason's my best friend, and I'm worried too, but he's taken on a giant. I'm sure a stray cyclops won't do him in."

It was far from the best comfort he could have offered, but it seemed to be enough. She gave him a wobbly grin and said thank you.

"Anytime, Beauty Queen."

And she walked out without a second glance. He wished she would look back. Just once.

Leo went back to work, resigned that he would _never _be the prince. Queens didn't give the peasants a second glance, even if they were her confident. Even if he listened to her, gave pathetic advice when she shared her problems because that was the best he could do.

"Thanks a lot Dad." He muttered, anger and bitterness suffocating him as he struck down his hammer on a sheet of metal. Why wouldn't it just conform to his wishes and change shape? Why wouldn't Piper see that he was the one that cared about her? If it weren't for that blessing of Aphrodite and some cruddy fake memories, Jason wouldn't have given her the time of day. Heck, he wouldn't even call Leo his best friend without a lot of prodding prior to the quest.

Somehow his problems went back to his Dad. Leo refused to think ill of his mother. If it weren't for the great god of the forge, he wouldn't have started the fire that killed his mom. Leo knew he was being irrational, but right now he was hurting. Stupid organic life forms. He wondered why his father had even bothered.

Eventually he worked out his feelings on his own, because that was what the sidekick did, instead of running to his friends with his troubles. Piper and Jason were at the root _of_ the troubles. No, he slaved away and as he made progress on the ship, his thoughts grew clearer and he worked through his emotions one by one.

So when Jason arrived, Leo was able to greet him with a genuine smile.

One night, Piper laughed at one of his jokes (for real, not faking amusement for his sake) and didn't playfully hit him in protest when he called her Beauty Queen. They were out watching the stars after the campfire had long died out.

"Do you remember back at Wilderness Academy? When we snuck out to stare at the stars, just you and me?" They were on a hill, laying on the wet grass. It was cold, but Leo could care less.

Piper surprised him. "Jason was in detention. We were on the roof of the dorms." She graced him with a smile, another surprise.

"Yeah. You told me about some magical hedgehogs." He watched her face, but mostly her eyes, as they settled onto a startled green.

"You remember? I told you to forget that nonsense."

Leo could tell she was blushing. But why? "And lose the best blackmail in history? Forget it!" But he flashed her a smile, so she knew he wasn't serious.

Piper sighed. "I want to go back there sometimes." Third surprise of the night.

"Why?" Now her eyes had shifted to a sad brown.

"All our problems were simple back then."

He slugged her shoulder and offered her a hand-because he wasn't her boyfriend and it wasn't his place to kiss her. "Life doesn't like to play favorites, Beauty Queen."

She didn't say anything when he grabbed her hand. She let him hold it until she was back at her cabin. Leo swore to never forget the night.

Right now he was still the best friend, the go-to guy. But he was making headway.

Those organic life forms might have been worth it, at least some days.

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Words: 1, 982

First story of the year! How about that? I listened to Relient K for the majority of this piece, particularly "When I Go Down" and "Forgiven". This is vague on purpose. I meant to have it be more obvious/direct but it didn't end up happening. Please share your thoughts! :)

1/2/11


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